Never apologize for being true to yourself.
Not to me.
Not to your friends.
Not to your parents.
Not to your business associates.
Never apologize to anyone.
Authenticity has a Purpose
In the last few years, there has been a lot of talk about authenticity. You can probably spend an hour or two on the internet reading articles entitled Be Authentically You or How to Live an Authentic Life. The word authenticity can sound buzzwordy, I totally admit it. However, it has become a buzzword because it has an air of truth to it.
When you are empowered to be exactly who you are, you will attract people who will raise you up instead of cutting you down.
Being authentic doesn’t necessarily come easy. Being yourself means you have to take the chance that someone doesn’t like who you are. It can be really scary to put yourself out there and get a response that others don’t like you.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it – some people might not like you.
I’m sure there are people out there who just aren’t for you. It’s OK if not everyone likes you, because you, in turn, don’t like everyone who has ever existed either. That’s what makes the world so great. We can respect and tolerate each other, but not particularly care for each other.
The people who don’t like you are also the people who will make you feel like you need to change who you are to conform to the standard of person they need you to be. When you can’t conform to their ideals in exactly the right way, you feel bad about yourself, and they still might not like you. To cope, you might take it out on yourself by talking poorly to yourself, feeling depressed, anxious, overeating, drinking too much, etc. Does any of that sound familiar?
Instead, it’s just easier to be yourself the way you want to be.
And never apologize for it.
If you let that person go, that person who doesn’t like you, I know you’ll find lots of other people who do like you, your ideas, your interests, your hobbies. Those are the people you want to attract. Those are the people who will lift you up, and they will empower you to be exactly who you are supposed to be.
When you feel empowered to be yourself (what a novel concept, right?), you start to have the courage, the network, and the ability to make the changes you need to live your life to the fullest. That is when you become your authentic self.
That life is different for everyone. For me, it’s to live in the middle of the city, dye my hair a purple and pink, and find ways to have conversations about community and women’s issues with you.
For someone else, it might be the idea that she doesn’t want kids, or a partner, but instead finds fulfillment from the work she does, her community involvement, and the friends she has. For someone else, making music and sharing that love with her children is what makes her tick.
The beauty is, it’s different for everyone.
When you are true to who you are, you’ll find your tribe. Trust me. They’ll help you live your version of happy and you’ll help them live theirs. Because at the end of the day, everyone deserves to live a life they are happy living without apologies.